AAAAAHHHHH!
it's 9:24a. I have a TEST at noon. Let me bring you with my night last night.
8:30p - started working on CS hw.
1a - Threw up
1:05a - decided to sleep it off
5a - woke up to get back to work
9:22a - turn in incomplete hw realizing that a. incomplete hw's get a zero b. no late hw's accepted c. every hw assignment is 10% of the grade. Wrote on email how harsh this policy is.
9:25a - started writing blog because I NEED to get out how ridiculous this is.
9:30a - Start studying for hard test in 2.5 hours.

I don't even have time to explain how this is just a continuation of the pattern that has been my week so far.

pray for me?

There's something painfully romantic about all-nighters. Of course not in the hey-lets-light-some-candles-and-drink-some-wine-way but in a very slowed down reality kind of way. You see the clock read numbers which it never should, you work your way through the night with the persistence of a undeterred marathon runner, and you realize that in the height of your activity the vast majority of those like you have been passed out for hours, sleeping and dreaming and snoring to their content. I really get the feeling that I'm cheating the night by not sleeping, you know? It's as if I get a leg up being up when I should be to sleep. I certainly feel a different mind thinking when I'm pushing my brain to those limits and it causes it to have these great little epiphonies. Alright... back to work...

update: missin the girl... and sleep... which one do I miss more? I wouldn't know at this point :)

I think my biggest fear in life is doing what I need to do to get by and then at some point looking back in a fluke of reflection (maybe I got done doing what I needed to get by for that day) and realizing I had missed out or didn't do something that was blatantly obvious. Por ejemplo:

I go through highschool, do well enough to keep ahead of the crowd, go to a schweet school to get a schweet degree, graduate, and get a ballin' job (money-wise) and then I meet someone who is behind schedule graduating because they took a semester off to be an organic farmer. ephiphany: I should start my career in a different country instead of settling for the comfort of security.

My ongoing list of things that actually matter:

real, bold love for everyone

dreams and the process of crumbling the wall of potential into a disaster of success

dogs

lovin'... the fun kind.

music

wind

God

bold ambition and the acting upon it

again, love.

and for those who are just keeping up here's my update:

just got done reading the shack, things with the girl are beautiful as always, miss my family a little, the fraternity is an unstoppable movement, schools KICKIN' my butt (probably gonna pull a 3.3 this semester), my knee is hurting and depressing me, and I'm getting a little scared of real life. People keep telling me I need to be job searching already. Yikes.